The Five Stages of Acceptance: As Told by Michael Ferrante

Founder and CEO of Like Us Publishing, Mike Ferrante, shared his thoughts about coming out. In an effort to come up with some tips for those struggling with acceptance, he realized that the process of coming out is a lot like psychology's description of the five stages of grief. He outlines his thoughts on the road to acceptance here.

1. Denial

Denial is sometimes inevitable when coming to terms with your sexuality. We try to suppress the parts of us that can be questioned and/or ridiculed by society. While denial is the complete opposite of acceptance, trust the process and understand that this is often the first step to becoming who you are.

2. Anger

Sometimes anger is used as a coping mechanism when struggling with acceptance. In order to hide how we really feel, we'll take our frustration out on those who have already accepted themselves. We may use homophobic slurs or sentiments to describe those who are further in the process than we are. Do your best to avoid this part of your anger. Trust the fact that you will eventually reach the same ultimate level of homo-sexiness.

3. Bargaining

"Maybe I'm just bi?"

Since society seems to be more likely to accept bisexuality than homosexuality, a lot of times we try to convince ourselves that we might be able to swing both ways. In an effort to save ourselves from judgment, we bargain. Maybe if we only kind of like the same sex, it isn't so bad. However, it isn't fair to deny your sexuality if you really only want to play for one team. Don't get us wrong, bisexuality is not a myth. But be sure you're giving yourself every opportunity to be who you are.

4. Depression

So you realize you don't just kind of like the same sex, its much more than that. This is the stage where you're going to think about how people will react when you come out. The fear of being disowned by your family, being judged by your friends, being humiliated/bullied in school; all of the negatives that are associated with being gay start to creep in. You find yourself contemplating whether it's a good idea to be yourself or if it's better to be someone else. It's important to know that you aren't alone. This is a stage most people who struggle with their sexuality experience. And it does come to an end.

5. Acceptance (finally!)

Have no fear, you're here and you're queer. We know how important family, friends, religion, peers, etc. are. But when you finally come to terms with yourself, you will realize that those who matter will not mind and those who mind will not matter. There are so many people in this world and in your community (including us here at Like Us Publishing) who will love and accept you in all your gay glory.

If you feel you are struggling with any of these stages and need further assistance, please email us at likeuspublishing@gmail.com. We are happy to walk with you on the path to self-acceptance.